Strange~
: do you perform well under pressure?
d: sometimes
: I am a bit stressed too,
d: i can sense it
d: =/
d: lotsa of it going around
: I never had any zit problems
: YOU can sense it?
d: i can
d: don't ask me how
d: i just got that feeling
: I understand, just like how I can predict things
: that I am stressed?
: or that a lot of people are stressed?
d: that you, specifically, are stressed ....

Now that's interesting. How can he sense it? He doesn't even know me. I hardly talk to him, only once in a while... maybe he's BS-ing... but I am tho. My face is a proof that I am-- pimples are coming out of nowhere, the dark circles underneath my eyes are becoming darker as days go by. I refuse to cover them up by wearing make up but seriously, I begin to look more and more like a panda (a one that has pimple problems). What am I stressing about? The uncertainty regarding my job [understanding, performance, duration], the inability to control people/things/, to contain issues from exploding into dramas? I wonder, am I just being dishonest with myself? Am I trying at all? To mitigate problems or do I actually enjoy conflicts because it makes life interesting? The answer is a big NO, definitely don't like to deal with issues but I rather have it out in the open if it helps to rationalize behaviors, finalize thoughts and decisions. I don't see the point of asking a question if no answer is satisfying. Obviously the right thing to do is always different than the things I actually do do... the answers I give are never 100% statement. All I can do is stay sober, do the right thing, say the right thing... and never to get
drunk off my ass again. Aye... things should be simple, we are what we are, so be what we are.