It's late, and I meant to sleep early... what happened? I've been unproductive this whole weekend, and though I blame the period but nevertheless I should have done more in the last 72 hrs... all those time wasted. Did do research and sent out "building code requirements for residential projects" to the group, did conduct a "site analysis" today at the mall and some more (ahem... thx dad for the early b-day gift), BUT, still not enough. I promised myself to maintain a healthier life style by going to bed earlier (kept that up until wednesday night due to the stupid project) and waking up earlier, I tried to do work each day w/in a set timeframe as if I'm working a 9-5 job, and I've been trying to make sure I work out by swimming at least once a week... well lets just say I was unsuccessful at any of that as soon as the weekend came around. Shame on me.........

BUT! I had a lot of fun today with K.C. and I realized aside from South Coast there's really no reason for me to go down to Irvine ever again... I mean I miss hanging out with friends and I do enjoy spending time with them, do enjoy meeting up with them... but I prefer to meet them elsewhere. Anywhere but Irvine. That feeling came back; I just wanted to get out get away and get as far from Irvine as possible. I felt that icky feeling in the chest, suffocating. I wanted to scream just like how I did scream before-- the depression, the feeling of isolation and extreme dissatisfaction-- the sense of hopelessness and void... I think I associate Irvine with work and not so much the college years, and thinking back and being reminded of how crappy that life was made me realized how much happier I am now and how glad I am to have finally removed myself from that pathetic life, pathetic place. Can't imagine how life would be if I allowed myself to stay in that kind of an environment, would I have gone insane? Gone mad? Probably, very likely... the irony behind it all is how can a place like Irvine, caused an anxiety attack... it's pretty silly........