Had more conversation with A. I really miss A's company and those late night talks. I share great memories with him through out high school and into college... it's weird looking back and seeing how far we've come. Everyone's matured (somewhat) and working... no longer little kids bitching and complaining about getting a "B" in class... some of us had valid reasons to bitch about grades but you know, most of the time it's strictly for the sake of complaining. Now what do we do instead? We work our asses off and have little time to conversate with friends. Me personally I've grown more bitter each day. Maybe I've always been a bitter person but now, I am truly bitter. Cousin told me that if I continue to be bitter at such young age, I won't make it to 30. Hmmmm... she's right. But I do feel like a robot, going to work is like doing laundry, you hate it but you gotta do it and you might possibly be damn good and efficient at it too... but nevertheless it is something you wish you don't have to do. I wish my clothes would just be clean... and money would just fly into my bank account...

n so I've realized, under pressure, comments, remarks, "recommendations" from family and friends, that dating is necessary for a girl my age. therefore I've decided, that I will change my usual thinking and style, and welcome dating with open arms. Especially after the excessive consulting from mom and her friend... I've decided that I will not fall into that "oh no my daughter is still single and she's already XX age" category.

aye... it's time to make some changes to my life, my outlook on life... my style.

haven't talked to A for a long long time. The first thing he asked me after I told him I just got back from Taiwan, was "are you sad?" He knows me too well. I don't even have to complain and he already knows. Afterall we've known each other for 10 years now? I am sure lots of people knew I would be sad but no one really asked... for some reason "asking" to me equals knowing. It's like he got right to the point... even I've forgotten that sad feeling since it's been so long... been so long since I have to deal with the "after Taiwan effect".

I am getting back into the rhythms of things, the "routine". I feel like an assembly line worker... except I have to deal with stupid people instead of objects. Maybe it is better to deal with objects... objects vs. people...

2 b continued...