tired.
only if I have some guts
Id be out of here by now
only if I were more adventurous and carefree
Id be somewhere else as well

suppose this is reality. it is what it is
then that also gives me the hope to change, because it's a reality I created anyway
to feel bounded by rules that I create is just silly! Only if I dare to take a chance, to change...
I might resist "new anything" with all my heart
but deep down I welcome it

maybe it's a matter of taking that step forward,
perhaps I need someone to push me?
or someone to hold me.

give me a reason to stay
and give me a reason to leave
I am open to all suggestions, until I find me.

I feel lost lately..lost in the middle of inconsistency, inadaquecy, inaccuracy, insincerity...
I feel traped by BS and rules and regulations...
I feel almost weak.
I am really physically and mentally tired.
I just want to leave

where would I go and will I like it,
or should I just say?
It's not up to me.

tired.