Exercising self-control... sort of. Apparently not very good at it AT THIS EXACT MOMENT but whatever... the important point is I'm conscious of it.

I had such a good time today doing absolutely nothing productive. I really planned on studying today but my friend had to come and chill here for some reason and so she did. We watched two dvds, I made lunch (yes incredible, was actually good too), picked up her bf then went to the movie. Well, we tried... apparently fantango or whatever that thing is IS working, all 6 time slots were sold out and the next available showing was at 11:40 pm. Right... so what do we do instead? We shopped...

I called it "researching". Since I have to do a retail store project now I figured it would be wise to check out all the high end retail stores including Tiffany's. I was immediately drawn to Frank Gehry's collection and the next thing you know I was trying on the "torq" necklace and rings. The "black gold torq skinny" ring is so beautiful but that was out of my price range. Actually the truth is everything there was out of my price range, but I've never bought anything from that place for myself so I thought "it's time". Happy B-day to myself YAY! Yes I decided to celebrate my b-day 2 months in advance. Why the F not... if I have to ask myself why all the time I'll drive myself crazy, sometimes it's as simple as "WHY NOT?" Of course, I had to give up on the "black gold" or anything with the word gold in it, and settled for sterling silver. I'm very happy and pleased with my selection today even though my wallet is hurting a bit but... ah there's no buts. Anyway, while I was looking at the low end of Tiffany's my friend's bf started checking out engagement rings. I have to say I've never enjoyed being a third wheel as much as I did today b/c 1)I actually got to see these engagement rings UP FRONT-- CLOSE AND PERSONAL (didn't try it on or anything) instead of admiring them from FAR FAR FAR AWAY. 2) I actually learned something about diamonds. It was very educational to say the least, and it's comforting to know that if anything I can actually afford to get myself one in the future. But then again, how pathetic is that? At least I get to keep my last name... (-_-)

Then we had a romantic dinner in Marina Del Ray-- food, outdoor dining, location, everything was amazing. Great company (I'm not sure if they feel the same hahaha), went and took a stroll down the pier. Took lots of pics via camera phone and of course, we (or per my request) attempted to capture some nice visuals provided by the hot surfers. I have to say this one half Korean Half white surfer had the most amazing body, the most beautiful smile and a$$ that I've ever seen... at that moment I wish I was his board. Or the waves underneath him.. whatever, whichever works for me. Hahahaha, I mean, a single woman tagging along as a third wheel is allowed to day dream right?

All silly notions aside, I think I've come down from my high. Or I'm forcing myself to stay closer to the ground. I threw caution out the window sometimes back and while it was a good change for me, I think it's time for me to bring a bit of that skeptic back. The happiness is drifting away slowly, and though I'm sad to see it go I don't want it to cloud my judgment. Perhaps carelessness and happiness do not have to go hand in hand, but until I figure out how to manage my feelings and still maintain a sense of clarity, something's gotta give... The heart will have to take a back seat for now and let the mind leads the way; in any case the mind is more equipped, to me anyway, to deal with things.

The ring, is a reminder to myself, a damn pricy reminder that is.