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Once again I'm alone listening to my fobby chinese love song song in R&B... great. reminds me of the old days; single, alone, quiet, and have plenty of time to sit around and write about nothing in particular. This is when I realize how lucky I am to have Levi in my life, to know there's someone there waiting for me to go to bed. Ha... pathetic.

Okay it's not really that bad, and yes I am very lucky to have Levi among many other people / things in my life. I am in a pretty good situation already, and I really can't complain. BUT DAMMIT, DAMN THE ECONOMY! It's taking my daydreams away from me! It's ruining all my fantasies about quitting, traveling, and not giving two shits about consequences! Seriously this is why people say "just do it!" BECAUSE THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A WORSE TIME TO DO WHAT YOU WANT, such is the case NOW. Seriously... right now the whole world's on the same boat -- financial crisis, lost of hope, and loss of MONEY! I don't even want to look at my 401K, my mutual funds, my savings... my... my 20% decrease in value! I guess I can always say 20% less is better than losing 50% of everything. OR, that some people didn't even have $ to lose to begin with... right, so much better, much better.... right....

Not to complain really, but just am feeling a bit disappointed in the world and feeling a bit hopeless. First time I truly feel cornered. It was always easy for me to come up with a back-up plan, a good Plan B that might actually work in times of need. Now, I feel like there's no such thing as plan B. All plan Bs are really Plan As that don't work. So what now? I don't hate my job, in fact it's not all that bad. It's just... small imperfections really. So WHY DO I LET THE SMALL IMPERFECTIONS WEAR ME DOWN? Because I'm stupid...

Okay, stop being stupid, stop day dreaming about quitting and start wishing thinking hoping really hard that the economy crisis will be resolved soon and that everyone can do exactly what they want and be happy. I am going to do what I want and do it well and be happy. I see it.. coming, I really do see it.

:P