so thankful I had the help of sallie, peter, and kevin with the move on saturday. w/o them I think I would have broken my back, lost my temper / patience, and never have moved and just stay at that dirty ass apt.

how the hell did I live there for so long? another more important question, why in the world did I think I didn't need help and can get things done with just sallie and I? have I gone nuts? I've been toooo used to doing things on my own that I forget I am not all knowing and all powerful... i'm just a silly girl who needs help from time to time but too dumb to admit it. this is the side affect of being alone. this is the side of affect of having been gone from home for too long. this is what happens when ur mind is clouded by day to day bs... what's gotten into me? what happened to me? I just want to be girl. let the guys play the men role and let me be me. let me be a girl...

sometimes I feel so tired. maybe b/c I am? most of the time I am depressed... b/c i can't find where I put my happiness... have I misplaced it somehow? i need to go on a journey to find my happiness.. i've lost it somewhere somehow on the way here, so maybe i need to backtrack? dunno... it's time to sleep and I am talking incoherently which is no news to anyone...

i want to be happy.