i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, partly external forces partly internal decision making, I want to say I am finally ready to fully move on and have a new beginning. too much has happened lately and especially with what took place on Saturday night-- I am ready to leave the past behind. it only makes sense, b.c the past has turned into something ugly anyway. what used to make me smile now makes me want to scream, what used to comfort me now brings me high blood pressure... what used to feel like family now acts like my worst enemy. what used to be trust now becomes anger and discontent... a lot has changed recently, but they were gradual changes and I am finally ready to fully let go and not look back. luckly everytime I do stop and look back something else happens that pushes me to move forward.... something that makes me loose my temper within seconds and man I wonder how my heart can handle that much shit.... no heartattacks yet, good good.

i just want to focus on the good things, the positive-- i gotta start traveling more for work, I gotta study for GMAT, I gotta prepare my plan B in case work situation turns sour, i got a lot of things to worry about and take care of, THAT would and should be the least of my concern. it's not hard to understand, right? right.