shitty night on thursday night, friday got better, saturday was chill and today I'm just tired. Woke up at 8, went to the getty, then back and went to Ana's last minute pool party. I forgot how much I enjoyed being in the water, just lounge and move around slowly. I miss swimming, I miss the days when I used to soak myself in the pool for hours just playing. That was back in elementary school... before I knew better. Now... you gotta worry about how you look, whether your fat's hanging out or the top's not fitting correctly, or whether the lines on the ass, etc are becoming too visible... whatever seriously. One of these days I'm just gonna go get my goggles, my one piece speedo suit and swim like I used to. I have to build up my speed again, if possible.

But I'm tired, I still have to finish my elevation details, render the floor plan, and then assemble my presentation board. That will take me the whole day tomorrow. Then paper on tuesday? What's going on with my floor samples? I MUST GET THEM! I have the panel sample, the sink picture, the paint picture, the ceiling sample, and my fiberglass clothe, all I need right now is my floor sample to complete the picture. arghhhh where is it? It's been three weeks!!!!!!

man I must be too tired, I'm rambling. I want to shower and sleep. It's getting too close to my expiration date... I've decided to push it back one year but I can't help but to be mindful of the fact that I AM GETTING OLDER. 25, is a scary number. I made a wish today at the getty, I can't say what it is but I desperately need for it to come true. I'm getting too old to be this unsuccessful... I can't tolerate it.

Argh... I need to shower, I'm no longer making sense. Oh and sh*t, when are they going to have the Wedding Date available! Damn ppl, return them already!!!

F.