I'm all smiles. Today's quite a meaningful day. Actually, this trip is quite fun and awesome in so many ways that I can say I'm pleased. I'm very happy with the vacation so far and once again, as always, I don't want to go back.

Grace, Cindy and I spent every single day together for the past week or so (minus the Tainan trip since that was family only), I'm not sure what we did but we've been out a lot. We ate a lot (minus my stomach flu day and recovery time), joked around 24/7, walked miles, visited night market twice, checked out a lounge bar once, went to dan shua and the pier for xmas eve and of course had a lot of conversations. I think all we do is talk talk talk and laugh laugh laugh, and now that Grace is gone I'm a lot calmer and "normal" but that happy feeling remains with me. We bring each other pure happiness, and that's rare for me. Pure happiness, only exists when she's around. I seriously thought we were either twins, or that she's my wife from a previous life as I said two nights ago jokingly... and low and behold! SHE WAS!! Hahahahaha I crack myself up.

So this is what happened today, I made an appointment last week with the intuitive consultant and originally I was hoping we can go (grace and I) together. However Grace had to leave on sunday and the earliest appt time was today at 1. So my bro was planning on coming with me except he cancelled on me last minute to hang out with his friends therefore I convinced my mom to come with me instead. Cindy took us, listened and laughed or made the "ah -ha" faces through out my reading. I would too, it was just too hilarious! It was such a long reading but I enjoyed every single moment of it. I have to say, this beats the last one I had here in Taiwan. The biggest difference is that he is a westerner, a white guy speaking perfect Chinese and speaking very intelligently. This is unlike other fortune reading, very atypical I have to say (yes based on my vast experience...). With all the other readings you feel like wow they are accurate, Like ohh okay he or she confirmed the things that already happened, etc, and everyone seems to tell you similar stuff. But with him, maybe having come from high education and from a western culture, the way he approached the reading was like a psychologist listening in (to your subconscious w/o you expressing actively) and then giving advice, objectively, without the baggages from any religion or superstition. Purely just seeing into your past and depicting it as closely as he sees it, and then telling you why those events are important, what are their significance, and how they might affect you now. In fact, for me personally, he didn't need to explain how, I just knew as soon as he started talking. Its like I knew all along that this is the lesson for me to learn this life, regarding my temper, my attitude, the way I approach things and ppl in life, but coming from a third party who had no previous relations to me, someone who could tell me about me that specifically by Reading outloud what he saw in my past lives, is just incredible. He doesn't hesitate, he just speaks slowly as he sees, like he's watching a movie in his head while trying to translate that image to me in the best possible way, using a second language. I mean that by itself is impressive, and I'm impressed!

So here's my reading. He begins with two most relevant life times, then afterwards we can ask questions. The first one he told me took place 900 years ago in Indonesia, I was a woman who lived by the ocean. Lived a rather good life in terms of wealth, not wealthy but not dirt poor. He sees me as this woman who was very harsh on ppl, not a very satisfied person because I was always annoyed by the things that I don't agree with and I was frustrated with ppl around me. I don't necessarily express my opinion but how I feel was usually written on my face. My mom and friends always tell me to watch out for that attitude and change that, and not to demonstrate my detest for things so easily. (When he said that I was like wait a minute, are you talking about me now or a past life?) And bruce saw that me, even after I got older and got married, and even though I married out of love (basically it wasn't an arranged marriage) I was still not very happy. Just in general discontent with things, ppl, etc. I was very demanding, thought my husband wasn't good enough. Even though my husband loved me very much but he can sense tht I feel he was just not good enough and I was so critical which made it hard on everyone around me. He said we always get into argument and my mom, my grandma would tell me to relax since those argument was really based on small things, usually things that aren't really a big deal to others but to me I would pick on it and criticise everything. That made it very hard for my husband apparently (as anyone could imagine). But the problem is I didn't take other ppl's advice. I always felt like I'm not wrong, I'm right, and why should I change my personality and compromise? Also, I had three kids, the oldest and the youngest are girls and my second born was a son. My oldest daughter's very much like me, so we got alone real well. But second son was pretty good, but he had to try to please me and to reach my standard and expectation. And my youngest, completely oblivious to me and my expectation, totally opposite of me, totally relaxed and careless and just not very bright yet I loved her the most. Basically he said my expectation for my kids were very high, it's not just about achieveing a good grade, etc, but also to be brave, to have a good personality, basically the whole 9 yard. So Bruce, the reader, finds it strange why even though my youngest born was just totally out of whack and not in line with my expectation, and yet I loved her the most.... When Bruce was telling me about this life, he kept pointing out that this might seem like a very negative trait, but it's not that bad-- because with it there's a positive side of things with me, and that is I am very responsible. People like to come to me because if I were to agree to something, I would do it. Even if I am tired but once I agree to doing something I would make sure I get it done and get it done well. So I was a very practical person who may be critical of others, but because of it I do things well. However that's precisely why I get frustrated and angry so easily because my idea was that if I Can do this right, why can't you. I expected people to give me the same respect as I give others in other words.

After he finished reading that, I was like uh... first of all I am still that way. Maybe a bit better this time around but overall, that's still me, now. And yes I do give others a lot of pressure, and yes I still have high expectation of others... but the difference is I think this time around, I acknowledge it and I try to consciously change it. OH he did say towards the end, because of my third child, the reason why I loved her the most is through her I see that I don't have to be that harsh and she helped me understand that sometimes I am the problem because of the way I think. That my ideal has created a problem for me, not others... anyway so when he said that, in my mind I was thinking hmmmm... was jon that husband?

Then second lifetime which took place 1600 years ago, in China, I was in the army, not just a soilder but pretty high ranking, quite high pretty much. I very much shared the same philosophy, was very strict, and was able to lead not by fear but by respect. I wasn't easy going though, was mean and extremely demanding (I was like what's new...). I knew how to manage the soilders by motivating them yet at the same time I do not compromise nor allow anything of lesser value or cowardice to happen so to speak. I enjoyed being in the army because it was honorable, respectable, and it provided a very clear goal and I was proud of it. It was that way until one time when we went into war, a new soilder was so terrified that he froze and went into shock. I was so annoyed by his reaction and didn't want to pull him along but I had to save him and encourage him to fight which resulted in his early death during the war. Bruce said at that point, for some odd reason, and not sure why that soilder specifically, have completely affected me. He said that kind of things happened all the time but not sure it was then that changed how I feel towards my life. That's when I realized I hate war-- I don't dislike being in the army nor am I ashamed of my status, but from then on I despite war. So not long after I left the army and went to the country, felt completely frustrated and easily angered because I suddenly lost my direction and goal in life. Was becoming more violent by the days until I met my mentor who taught me construction (interesting huh). I had no background, nothing, but my mentor was able to relate to me and knew how to help me redirect my energy and find new focus in life because he was once in the army. That's also when I got married and in the beginning my wife was terrified of me because she didn't know how to communicate with me. But later on as I found myself again I grew more patient and lenient towards others, even though I still find the world frustrating and pathetic at times, and I was still very critical of others and things. It was only when I'm with my wife that I felt happiness, like a totally different person, especially when we hang out and talk and make love it's like that's when I felt reborn and totally happy. So as I grew older I became wiser and spent more and more time with my wife, I was more tolerant of others. We had three kids, first one died when he/she was 3 and the second and third kids were both boys. They both turned out really well, there wasn't much to it. And then Bruce told me he saw me, when I was older, there was a very interesting phenomenon--- that I would often wake up and then see things, people I knew well or not, maybe due to knowing them well, I was able to detach myself from the environment and just see how things would turn out. I would be able to predict things and just see things ahead of times and because of it, I was always eager to share what I see with people. Since I was already 56 or something by then which was considered old for human beings at that time, people though I have gone nuts and was loosing my mind. So having people not believing in me also was frustrating to me.

So that was pretty much my two lives, the ones that affect me the most now. Then he went into the signifance of these and yes, I pretty much knew then that yup, I've been right all along-- that my temper my attitude is precisely what I need to change. He said you are a very powerful being but you are also very frustrated with things most of the time because you feel like things could and should be better. You've experienced perfection once in your past life from long long time ago, he can't figure out when but somehow I lost that feeling, was disconnected from it. So ever since then I've been searching for that perfection that level, and that I've yet to find a way to get back to it again. That's the source of my frustration and my unhappiness... (he doesn't even know my b-day so theres no way he got that from my virgo-ness). And he said since my energy level is so high and strong, in order for me to achieve a balance and to find what it is that I'm looking for again, he recommend me going into nature more and medidate more-- that will help me calm myself down. I asked about my career then and he said I made a very good choice, it is an extremely good direction because through art, through creating I am able to come closest to reaching my ideal, of what I think "beauty" is. And he recommend me to focus on the residential area of interior design because he says that having one on one communication with people, it is through that I can keep getting closer to what I deem perfection. Because this way I can reach for a common goal, and through connecting with people and working towards a mutual ideal, I can eventually help myself find focus and find a way to guide my energy towards something positive. Instead of being frustrated with all the things that I dont see fit, with art with interior design I can focus my energy towards something that I can do within my control. BUT he also said things aren't going to be smooth and easy since communicating with people, and connecting with people is a challenge, but he also said that I need that kind of challenge-- whicH I agree because w/o it I would be bored. He recommends me to learn to really understand and observe people, to really understand see who they are and what they are about, and why, that way I can also help myself create and come close to my goal-- to reach perfection, to find perfection. Basically I can define and refine my idea of what perfection is. He also said it is natural for designers to eventually come up with his/her own style, but he highly recommends me to try to design many different style, don't just stick to what I like, that way I can broaden my idea of what "Beauty" is. I find his advice extremely helpful!!

Then I asked about love life-- he had to adjust my energy level by rubbing my back, he kept pushing on this one point it's like something's stuck. He said he needed to adjust it so he can read better. Anyway I asked about jon because I said I wanted to know whether jon was my husband or not from that indonesia life. I just felt like he must be from that life time... then he did the whole pulse reading thing and it turns out jon's my second son from that life time. W/o going into details, he said the whole reason why I'm meeting jon again this life is because he helps me recongnize the pressure I can give to people and the affect my behavior and attitude can have on someone. That my relationship is to teach and to clearly help me see that I really need to work on myself to be more tolerant and sensitive to others around me... no wonder, I always said "jon's like a family". No shit... but anyway, he said some ppl might need to date a lot to make sure of what they want before their Mr right, but not for me. He said I'm not ready yet, and my Mr. Right will probably come around in 2 years. But when I do meet him, my husband or whoever will be very good for me-- he too will be extremely creative but not necessarily in art but maybe in business, or like a scientist. We will be able to motivate each other and that I will be more likely to be more sensitive and sweet because of our mutual understanding. Something along that line... basically we would be on the same level and would have a good relationship even though we might spend time apart -- long distance relationship. But we would still be very close nevertheless.

Anyway long story short, my sister is my third born from the indonesia life and grace is indeed my wife from my other lifetime. All I can say in the end is everything makes perfect sense. There's so much that he said that I will really keep in mind, his advice is very very helpful, and I think I will be even more mindful of my attitude now and I will be more careful. He also said he sees me having a very interesting and exciting life, that I will be at many places and that when I'm 40, there will be a lot of "little kids" which meant 20 something, who would look up to me. That I will be a lot of people's role model and I will motivate a lot of other people. So I take that as a great sign because I plan on having my own business, and he said these kids may be from my company or something, he doesnt know, but in my office basically.... so yup, I am glad that I am on the right track which will help me career wise, also help me on a even more personal and spiritual level. OH and he also said another good thing for me to do, is to be around more little kids, from 4-7 (perfect, any older I can't take) because they are still innocent and their energy and their creative soul will help me balance myself and be reminded more of the pureness within. They will help my energy grow, help bring out my true capabilities.

I think he said a lot more, but now I can't recall since it is getting late. I have "work" tomorrow!! Yay, an actual work opportunity awaits me tomorrow... so freaking excited! I get paid too!!! How freaking awesome is that! I think with the advice he gave I will be more prepared to make the best out of my future than before. And I think I'm ready to change myself-- not compromise though-- he laughed while he said "you, compromise, never". :) so weird, a person who can understand me so well, yet he's just a stranger.