k. The time change... that's it.... it's 1) fucking me up 2) making me realize that I am old now and 3) time is precious. Now I'm sleepy and tired by 10 pm. So much to do and so little time, in fact I feel like I haven't had enough quiet time... there's always something to do, forever occupied, which makes the ability to multi-task a very important skill to have. Last night I cooked and cleaned the dishes at the same time. I worked and watched TV at the same time. I slept and petted Levi at the same time. Okay that was pushing it... but it just feels as though I need to get more done in a shorter amount of time. I can't wait until winter break when I can just relax with Grace, walk around aimlessly, sit and chat, or lay there and chat and laugh our asses off before we fall asleep. Just the simple things in life, when one can take a break, slow down, and relax. On one hand I want to speed up the process so I can get to where I think I want to be at quicker, but on the other hand I wish I have the power to freeze time so I can take a breather w/o feeling like I'm wasting time. Like now, I know I should shower and sleep because tomorrow I have to wake up early for the bridal shower... but the truth is I rather not go, and just sit at home. I've been wanting to rent DVDs, or go watch a movie or something, however I know in the back of my mind that I should use that time wisely, i.e. working on project. Seriously, I want a break. I'm burnt out.
Oh, and it appears to be that a fireworks has exploded on my face--- the pimples / scars are everywhere. What happened? What changed in me or in my life that's causing this? I was pimple free for 25 years of my life and suddenly I need proactive? Great, the signs of aging--- OKAY I GET IT, it's LOUD AND CLEAR. Fine, I'll accept it. I'll just pretend each pimple represents an opportunity and the more I have the better..... HA, right, only if that's truly my mentality.
And oh wedding, June 23rd, don't have much time do I? Sal's the maid of honor, good luck. I'm in charge of coming up with cleaver party favor idea and a color scheme/story for the wedding, that's pretty exciting. Except once again, lots more to do with very little time. Time time time... why am I so damn conscious of it? If I was a monk, then would time be of such valuable asset? would it?
time... I need and want to spend more time with certain people but it looks like I have all the time in the world to do all the things that I think I have no time for, yet I really get very little time to spend with the people I miss ... it's ironic, and it's sad... will that ever change?