tonight's one of those nights that I feel incredibly lonely. this makes me wonder if I am pmsing way too early, or if I had just lost the strength to pull myself out of this meaningless misery that does no good except pulling me in the direction that I don't intend to go in. It is distracting, annoying, and unpleasant in every sense of the word. If I wasn't so mindful of the things that I must do before tomorrow night I would have just drowned in my own depression. Listening to this "Duets PIano and Cello" CD that I just got from Target helps, ironically.

I seldom feel like this. Usually too busy to be feeling anything unproductive but right now I can't help but to write about it, as if this will help me get a better crasp of why I feel the way I feel. Must there be a reason for everything I do or think or feel? Can't I just be okay with feeling something negative (aside from anger) once in a while without questioning it? Why can't I just let it be? And accept it? Accept that yes I am lonely, and it is okay to be lonely sometimes.

so fine. I admit, and I acknowledge my loneliness for the night. now move on, get over it, do you work goddammit sy. quit wasting ur time thinking about things that will just blow over w/in the next hr. yeah. done dealing with it, it is DONE.

man, just woke up... (1:17 am). i was supposed to go do something tonight, but every event fell through and ironically that worked out fine for me. I feel so tired, it's like all these days for not being able to sleep on time, for having jetlag, for trying to stay up has finally come crashing down on me. wow, that nap or whatever it is was good, and I'm ready for more.

just can't believe, that after two weeks I've finally finally got my sleeping schedule back, awesome... I needed this.

interesting dream too.

alright. i'm ready for more.