ohh I must have lost my mind. I just somehow combined / switched some info and reported as if it was fact... goodness what has gotten into me? I really lost it... scary. To think that this could happen at such age, imagine if I was 70!

lately so much has been going on, or about to happen... my emotions are going up and down and down and up.... going sideways even... I'm not sure what to do with myself. How do I keep it in control? Eat healthy? Sleep on time? Go shopping to calm the nerves? Either way IKEA here I come!! Hahaha .... retarded.

Saw Pirates III, SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. Man... I love that kind of stuff, would that be magic realism as well? And I am looking forward to seeing the transformers. It's like a childhood toy on turbo-drive! I miss my little transformers... also I am looking forward to Ocean's 13, and what else? Oh yeah I still want to watch Fay Grim. All these movies that I want to watch... do I have enough time?

Yesterday I found out the good news, which is that I got my working visa once again! Yay!Once again, I'm a legal worker. So I went from something under dad to student to a worker back to a student now a worker ... what a journey. When can I just be me w/o all of those additional identities? When can I just be me with the rights to choose to live freely? Without the boundaries? Without the limitations? One thing's for sure, I've learned to work within my limitations quite well, who'd ever thought...

So tomorrow, work on wedding invite, go to IKEA, south coast. Hmmmmm, no go to Southcoast, IKEA, work on wedding invite... then HW. Whichever.. basically I need to go to IKEA, south coast to get the necessities. This is when shopping becomes fun b/c u are going with a purpose, a focus, a real reason to spend money. Everything else is unnecessary I feel.... aside for the sake of having something to feel a desire. But lately I desire only one thing and one thing only... which is just happiness. I'm slowly achieving everything that I've set out to do, and that I've hoped for real hard, and you'd think that would make me happy. Well I am, but I am holding my breath for just a bit longer... still things to watch out for.... simply going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. I just hope I won't be disappointed and that whatever I receive will be kind and fair. Anyway, don't want to think too much into it, gotta keep my focus on the bigger picture. Yup... the big picture .....

BIG PICTURE