it's crazy, but I think it just started raining really hard out of nowhere, thunder / lighting and all. It's 2:40 am right now and I think that only lasted for less than a minute. WTF? But it does sort of reflect how I feel right now. I'm fine most of the time and suddenly out of nowhere I would feel trapped again, trapped by my own memories and my imagination.

why can't I just let it go. Why is it bothering me so much. Isn't it about time to live in the present? But what happens when the present is so much like the past, the long gone past? 1700 yrs ago type of past? How do I break the cycle? How do I find closure?

I'm stuck. I hope I'll be back to normal, just like the rain, comes and goes...