aye.

nervous...

lots of what ifs ...

trying to anticipate how the meeting will take place ...

only makes me more nervous and now my stomach's acting up...

perhaps i should just sleep and stop thinking for some time ...

yeah that sounds like a great idea, i really should...

how about now ....

yeah...

99

love it when levi lays on my lap but at the same time... man he's heavy. today i had to stay overtime for work... just helping out on a competition .... i really hope one day I can really contribute to a design, whether it is for a project or a competition. right now i can only assist... i know i'm not there yet. i know i'm still very green and i accept that. i just hope they will continue to see the potential in me and invest in me. anyway, i hope we win the competition. from what i've seen it looks great. I just wish I can one day play a major role in something and not just there doing the inconsequential stuff... well I know it does add up to something but it's not good enough for me. one day, i'll get there. i give myself 6 months of time (after I become a full time of course) to pick things up and to prove myself. and well i suppose i do get the freedom to re-design the treatment rooms now, but we all know taking everything else into consideration it's probably best to adhere to the existing design as much as possible so we don't have to spend that much time / money on CA. aye... design vs budget / time management .... creative vs. business. there's always a conflict... inevitable.

well, time to sleep too. looking forward to this weekend. a bit anxious and uneasy, but... overall should be good-- i hope. feeling quite positive... nervous nevertheless but.. should be cool.

tomorrow's work.. i hope they push the treatment room due date out.