This might be one of those nights where I just fall asleep on the sofa. Again...
I feel so tired and Levi looks so peaceful and comfortable sleeping next to me. I just want to join him, lay on him. I'm so tired.
But finally, after 11 weeks--- they've approved my floor plans! Ahhhh... FINALLY.... worth documenting. I can't believe it took me 11 weeks!!! Man, should be ashamed of myself. BUT WHATEVERS, time to build the model! YAY
smile because now you know, my every thought, motive, dream, and much more... all nine-hundred-thirteen lies, truth, and the unknown.
June 14, 2006
good day--- the 14th I mean.
Judy and Tony's b-day, and apparently the day my dad "lost his freedom" and the day my s-mom obtained her official license. A marriage license that is. I was supposed to be there... but it turned out none of us were there except my aunt and uncle in law. My sis is in Gaoshong and probably getting ready to graduate in few days and my bro, well unfortunately selfish and in my opinion still very immature, chose to go hang out with the gf. Honestly sometimes he doesn't have his priorities straight but then again, he probably doesn't realize how important of an event this is for the parents. Well, I'm happy for them... I just started laughing really hard when I heard the news and maybe I was hoping my laughter would cover up some of the other emotions I was feeling. I can't even pin point the other emotions but... I know I sounded unusually happy. Well I asked both of them how they feel, I pretty much reacted very positively and cracked a few jokes. Dad sounded happy and of course s-mom sounded happy too. I'm happy for them... really I am. But after the conversation I felt an array of emotions... I don't really know what I'm feeling anymore. One thing I do know for sure is my dad is very thorough, he definitely plans well and tries to cover all grounds for us for the future.
And my sister got accepted into the grad school. It's in Taipei but instead she wants to move out and live elsewhere... I can totally understand why but honestly it's not exactly a good move when it comes to saving money. I told dad to just tell her if she wants to move out that's fine, but she'll have to cover her own expense and rent. I'm sure that'll force her to reconsider her motive and her decision. Then dad started picking on my cat, I guess he's not used to having nothing to complain about me so Levi became his target-- all in good humor though. That's how I know he was in a good mood despite him loosing his freedom. Yes some fucked up humor we have but I did find that funny. Then I told him I got my scholarship, and that I was going to NY all in one sentence. :) He asked "are you going to go visit Yuju?" Yes... "Are you going to stay at Yuju's?" Yes she just moved...
So... a good day. A good month. I just wish I could have been there for the ceremony as well as my sister's graduation. I continue to miss out on important events in their lives and vice versa. I'm so used to it that sometimes I'm not even aware of it. Is this how it's going to be? Long distance relationship with everyone I care about? But then again, no matter where I am at, I will always have some kind of a long distance relationship with friends and family that I love. It's just part of life I guess, and the good thing is I've gotten really good at maintaining long distance relationships through out very very long periods of time. Well I guess this is my life and no complaints. I just wish I will get a job that I love here that would also offer me the opportunity to travel back and forth more. I definitely want to settle down here there's no doubt about that, but I would like to have the option and freedom to travel. Maybe I'm asking for too much, am I being too greedy? I am happy with my life right now, very happy--- a lot of things to look forward to and many things deserve a celebration. Hmmmmm, I am happy for them. All of them, I'm proud of my family.
Oh and apparently, my grandpa and grandma are both very artistic... it's unfortunate that grandma passed away when my dad was young b/c from what he told me she's a very savvy business woman. So my dad is a lot like grandma it seems... I wanted to ask if mom was also artistic b/c in my mind she was, however I thought today would be an inappropriate time to bring her up. I'm sure he's already thinking about her so I shouldn't mention anything. Today's her day, my s-mom's day, she deserves it.
Aye... I feel like crying. What's wrong with me?
Judy and Tony's b-day, and apparently the day my dad "lost his freedom" and the day my s-mom obtained her official license. A marriage license that is. I was supposed to be there... but it turned out none of us were there except my aunt and uncle in law. My sis is in Gaoshong and probably getting ready to graduate in few days and my bro, well unfortunately selfish and in my opinion still very immature, chose to go hang out with the gf. Honestly sometimes he doesn't have his priorities straight but then again, he probably doesn't realize how important of an event this is for the parents. Well, I'm happy for them... I just started laughing really hard when I heard the news and maybe I was hoping my laughter would cover up some of the other emotions I was feeling. I can't even pin point the other emotions but... I know I sounded unusually happy. Well I asked both of them how they feel, I pretty much reacted very positively and cracked a few jokes. Dad sounded happy and of course s-mom sounded happy too. I'm happy for them... really I am. But after the conversation I felt an array of emotions... I don't really know what I'm feeling anymore. One thing I do know for sure is my dad is very thorough, he definitely plans well and tries to cover all grounds for us for the future.
And my sister got accepted into the grad school. It's in Taipei but instead she wants to move out and live elsewhere... I can totally understand why but honestly it's not exactly a good move when it comes to saving money. I told dad to just tell her if she wants to move out that's fine, but she'll have to cover her own expense and rent. I'm sure that'll force her to reconsider her motive and her decision. Then dad started picking on my cat, I guess he's not used to having nothing to complain about me so Levi became his target-- all in good humor though. That's how I know he was in a good mood despite him loosing his freedom. Yes some fucked up humor we have but I did find that funny. Then I told him I got my scholarship, and that I was going to NY all in one sentence. :) He asked "are you going to go visit Yuju?" Yes... "Are you going to stay at Yuju's?" Yes she just moved...
So... a good day. A good month. I just wish I could have been there for the ceremony as well as my sister's graduation. I continue to miss out on important events in their lives and vice versa. I'm so used to it that sometimes I'm not even aware of it. Is this how it's going to be? Long distance relationship with everyone I care about? But then again, no matter where I am at, I will always have some kind of a long distance relationship with friends and family that I love. It's just part of life I guess, and the good thing is I've gotten really good at maintaining long distance relationships through out very very long periods of time. Well I guess this is my life and no complaints. I just wish I will get a job that I love here that would also offer me the opportunity to travel back and forth more. I definitely want to settle down here there's no doubt about that, but I would like to have the option and freedom to travel. Maybe I'm asking for too much, am I being too greedy? I am happy with my life right now, very happy--- a lot of things to look forward to and many things deserve a celebration. Hmmmmm, I am happy for them. All of them, I'm proud of my family.
Oh and apparently, my grandpa and grandma are both very artistic... it's unfortunate that grandma passed away when my dad was young b/c from what he told me she's a very savvy business woman. So my dad is a lot like grandma it seems... I wanted to ask if mom was also artistic b/c in my mind she was, however I thought today would be an inappropriate time to bring her up. I'm sure he's already thinking about her so I shouldn't mention anything. Today's her day, my s-mom's day, she deserves it.
Aye... I feel like crying. What's wrong with me?
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