what has gotten into me? age? friends? or everything else that's going on in my life right now? as if suddenly things have sped up... everything that i have ever worked for are all really coming together rapidly (and quite nicely)... so does that make me want to speed other things up? but just like somethings in life, sometimes rushing things is counter productive. And sometimes, being passive is likewise, ineffective. what is the balance between the two? just because I think I'm ready for the next step, doesn't mean things will fall into place the moment I am ready. Why can't I accept that... why am I always so impatient? Will things fall into place?
school is coming to a pt. work has made a pt. what else... i should be happy with everything. I should be... but what I truly want isn't here... what I really want in life is the only thing that's still ... up in the air. However, I can't complain, I am happy, I should be. I've worked so hard to get to this pt, I should enjoy it and be proud of it w/o letting other things affect me and hold me back. I should be able to just laugh and feel like I'm on top of the world w/o worrying about something else... right, "don't worry about it until it happens". B/c who knows, what's going to happen. If you don't know, then I won't know. If I know, and you don't know, then that's still a "don't know". when would it become a "know"? Will it ever? And when it does happen would it be something exciting, or something rather disappointing? Am I tough enough to handle the worst case scenario? Well, there's always HK.... hA.. ha .. not funny. That's when I just go straight to Tibet and shave my head.
anyway. H1B! Can't believe it. Pro-active, no bs, takes action immediately. they mean what they say and their actions definitely speak (if not follow immediately) louder than words. That's the way I like it. No fuss, no bs, no games.
aye. i'm even too tired now to type... am getting old..... eyes .. can't stay open anymore.
one last thing, I STILL HOPE I WIN ! But damn... those ppl are.... some strong candidates. Oh wellz, hope it is meant to be.
and yes. this year... i hope.