something about dim lights, movie curtain and an almost empty theater with few movie lovers--it's just lovely. The darkness surrounds you which brings inexplicable comfort, the calm before the storm, well, visual and audio stimulation I mean. It's really an exciting thing to do alone, to sit there quietly wondering what's happening next. And you know you aren't going to get some Hollywood blockbuster readymades that are really, one word- predictable. Nothing wrong with predictability but there's something definitely wrong with leaving the theater feeling unfulfilled. I never get that feeling when I go watch my independent films, usually pretty satisfied and today I am just thrilled to have done what I haven't done in a while.

I finally made good use of the theater right here. It's just one theater, with one good film per week. I saw Kamikazi Girls, a really weird wacky Japanese comedy. What drawn me to the movie to begin with was its reference to the Rococo period, I guess I was just curious to see how that was going to be played out through out the whole movie. I enjoyed it, I absolutely love it, and I forgot how much I miss going to the movie alone. It's a pleasure that belongs to me and me only. I felt so happy just sitting there waiting quietly for the movie to begin, and I'm glad I finally took the time out to go do something that I love and haven't done in a while. I think this is something that I'll keep doing until I get too old to move... I love movies... maybe I should somehow get into the movie industry too? Set designer? Hahahahaha..there I go day dreaming again.

Yesterday I took out my fortune reading and on it it says I would be a good television producer too, like planner, or something. I guess anything that requires good organizational skill and programming are something I could consider. Sometimes I wonder if this is it... is it? I still want to do other things, in fact I want to do many things and be many things... that's why I've always been drawn to the idea of being an actor because that way I can be all that I want to be. Too bad I can't act huh, or can I? Dunno, never tried. But if given a chance, I'll still take on many roles, the goal is to be good at everything I do.

Anyway, one quote from the movie today, people are cowards in the face of happiness. It's so true-- why do we often feel guilty when we go after the things we want? What's so bad with pursuing pleasure? Are responsible people, also unhappy people? Sometimes I think the answer is yes, and if so, how do we find a balance between the two? Dunno, beats me... perhaps one can be both happy and responsible.......