dad left for Taiwan yesterday. He arrived before the typhoon... barely. Wow I'm so glad I'm here this year this time. I hated the typhoon. It's weird, but as soon as he left everyone in the house seems to be much more relaxed, it is especially apprent with my aunt. She's actually more chatty with my stepmom, etc. And bro's doing his work w/o me watching him. Maybe my sis' right, we probably put too much pressure on him than necessary but action does speak louder than words... as long as he continues to do what he's supposed to do then I wont nag.

it's so tiring. I realize a lot of ppl find excuses for themselves and for others whom they can relate to-- ppl justify how it is okay for them to fail, to fuck up, to waste time and money. I have a hard time accepting that. Maybe b/c I'm a virgo (so my sis says) and that I'm too strict on others and on myself, that I do not know how to relax and that I only work in a linear direction... that I can careless about what others do but when it comes to family it is extremely hard for me to let loose and let go when they don't do things my way. Is that true? Yes perhaps. I won't force others to do things or see things my way, b/c frankly it's their lives they can make their own mistakes. But when it comes to family, it's hard for me to sit back and watch them fail... I want them to do well and be successful. I have faith in my bro, but right now it's just hard on everyone, we simply don't know what's going to happen, whether he will get accepted or not and whether he will succeed or not. I hope he will. He's a brilliant kid, it would be such a waste for him not to be recognized.

so I have my project due wednesday, I'm still working on it. I really don't feel like working on school work this quarter b/c of all the excess stress. I can understand how dad must feel, I mean how can he have the energy to deal with work related issue when the most important problem to solve has to do with his own son? How helpless he must feel... sad. Aye, maybe I should take my sis' approach (even though sometimes I question her logic) and just relax... let him learn at his own pace?

I haven't been out for a week now... it's not that bad sitting at home and have a healthy sleeping schedule. I wake up at 8/9 and sleep at 11/12... I do work, I don't procrastinate, etc. I guess this is an opportunity for me to bond with family and for me to learn to settle down a bit... to calm down a bit that is. I've been playing and partying too much before, this is a good break from all the social events. Frankly I'm kind of tired of it... tired of the routine I established for myself... this is a good break indeed.

:)
time to get back to my project