whats going on with me?
I can't sleep.
does it have to do with the finalization of the travel dates? I tried not thinking about it much. but maybe I didn't try hard enough.
what am I worried about? what's stressing me out? is it the being left alone part and taking care of Starck alone? Or is it the being left alone, or more appropriate left behind. I know it's not the intent, to leave me behind, but it's a feeling I can't shake. It reminds me of an old thing I used to feel, long ago, nearly forgotten but never left me -- that I got left behind.
realizing a lot of the old issues I have are still with me, buried somewhere deep down but now resurfacing. maybe I should see a psychologist. maybe that's too expensive and I need to just dig a hole in one of my trees in the yard. oh wait, none of them with thick enough of a tree trunk...
maybe i need to see a witch, if one exists, and just cast a spell over myself, perhaps the quickest way, and probably cheaper than seeing a hypnotherapist. although i wouldn't mind one, someone that does regression therapy. how far back does it need to be? don't know, as far back as possible, into the different past lives (assuming they exist).
as good as I am at diagnosing others and myself, it doesn't make a difference if i can't seem to cure myself. what can I do? to overcome some of these deeply rooted emotional / psychological issues? if i can turn back time, how far back and to what pt exactly, do i need to go, in order to prevent these from developing?
but f all that. all I want to know right now is, have I brain dumped enough, for me to fall asleep? because my lower back aches, and i'm annoyed with myself, for not being able to sleep right now, which means i won't be getting enough sleep before i have to wake up for my acupuncture. can he, the doctor, finally fix me?
i need to f'ing sleep, please.