business strategies class is awesome! It's something that I've been waiting for. It's a good switch from all drawing/creative classes to something that requires more left brain than right brain work. This is really great, I look forward to it. I heard she's hard and she gives a lot of work but who cares, at least I'll learn from her. I don't see why ppl go for classes that are "easy" but u end up getting nothing out of it and wasting money. I'm so glad I picked the right teacher. And something she said today really stuck with me, I suppose we are aging regardless so why not accomplish something that we want despite how much time it'll take. Look at all these ppl changing their careers, many of them have had 3 and each one lasted at least 5+ year if not 10. All ex CFOs, CEOs, Directors, Actors, Neurologists, SW engineers, Photographers, you name it-- ppl came from all sorts of background with one thing in common-- passion and the courage to pursue something they want. I'm impressed, I'm now surrounded by amazing passionate and successful people and I can only say if there's one thing I need to learn and take away with me from this whole experience, is to not be afraid of going after something you want. Also, did I mention how happy everyone is? I love being around ppl that actually enjoy what they do, quite opposite of my previous experience. This is really a different life that I lead and I plan to develop it more, and soon. I'm enjoying school, I'm happy-- I plan to do this until I get sick of it then I'll move on to my next big project. Yup, this is it, this is my project and I hope to see it fully developed.

And did I mention how happy I feel? I am one lucky/happy girl.

I hope to hear back from MRY.

Overview:
Outwardly, you may be the picture of confidence, but inwardly, you're shaking in your boots. It's time to cultivate a sense of faith. When you're ready to take the leap, the ground will be there to support you.

Extended forecast:
Equipped with a laser beam of clarity, you'll be well suited to play interpreter to the feuding forces around you. You've got a grasp on complicated emotional issues and someone else needs you to help them sort it all out. You will easily decipher the issues and get everyone on the same page. By being invaluable, you will put yourself front and center -- and that will make it all the easier for you to get the attention of someone very powerful.


K... the overview does paint a pretty accurate picture of how I feel in regards to many aspects of my life and as for the forecast, I just hope it's true. I need to make sure I get some feedback from ppl that I need to hear from. I need job offers! I am not used to not having job offers!! Ah I know I sound cocky right now but it's true, I'm really scared... I do need to have faith in myself but back in college I was already going on interviews, getting job offers before I even graduated and now... is it b/c I am more laid back and I'm not as eager and as "hungry" as I used to be? That I am a lot pickier and less willing to compromise and settle for just anything? Or that I'm simply not doing much not attending the events that I should be attending? I know there's so much that I need to and SHOULD be doing but I can't seem to get my ass out of this chair and to do something about it. The difficult part is for this industry they don't seem to post openings up on job search engines, at least not the good ones. So school is really by far my best bet, school related events and networks--- gosh am I just really talent-less or that it's a matter of time? I need to do something innovative and interesting in my next class so I can catch someone's attention, anyone! So far my designs are shit, I admit... I'm just not there yet. I think I can be, will be, but WHEN! Is this why I was advised to just keep working at it, have patience, and not to rush anything this year? I had my chance back in SD 2 but I think I wanted to do well so bad I ended up overcompensating, thus "less is more". And in SD 3 I stuck with "Less is more" and it turned out I should have done ... MORE. Arghhh I need to find my happy medium! I need to develop my own signature and my own language, like MRY and like Tadao Ando... they sure have developed their own language. Actually I can kind of see the direction I tend to go in, but I can't say it is fully developed. I need to pay closer attention to the details and how the details make the whole picture. I need more training, and I can't believe I'll be taking my thesis courses beginning in Fall, I don't feel like I'm ready yet.

I need to find a mentor, someone who is willing to guide me along the way and to push me to the top. Everyone needs a mentor and I am in a desperate need for one. K.H was mine at work, and I was very lucky to have met him. So I need to meet another K.H. figure in this industry, someone who's willing to guide me and still remain objective, someone who can help me become who I need to be w/o loosing my sense of self.

Ahhh... alright enough is enough. There's only so much that I can worry about, the key is taking action, just thinking about it won't do me any good. Like what dad said, attitude determines everything and now that I have the right attitude, I should do something about it. :)

I suppose it's a good thing that I stress out. I feel very productive in the past hr or so-- I emailed MRY (the teacher basically) my updated resume, I was being a bit passive aggressive but what can I say, I was advised by another Architect from that firm in the end of the tour on saturday to "Be hungry, be very hungry and be sure to talk to J". So I did... and emailed... I really hope to get some kind of a feedback or acknowledgement from him.

Then I just cleaned out my monstertrak profile and set up a new search agent. I realized now that I'm a bit older and wiser (I hope), I am more aware of what industries I want to work in. I now know precisely (maybe not that precise) what interests me and what would never ever cross my mind again. So that's that... we'll see what happens. Oh another thing, I haven't heard back from HBA at all, I sent a friendly email just to say hi as a test, no response. Hmmmm.... it's unlike K.A. to not respond so I'm very curious as to what's going on. Curiousity kills the cat... Hmmmm.....

Maybe I can contact other interns to see how busy they are. Man I get attached to things too easily, it was just an internship... but a good one I must admit.

Alright enough about this job search thing. IF it is meant to be, something will happen. If not... then I can only blame myself for not making an impression. >:P