>:(
I'm so angry. What am I the garbage collector? Sanitary specialist? Is that what they call it nowadays? Am I the dumping ground for issues of all sorts? Shouldn't I be getting paid? Am I a substitute punching bag? What is it? Should I just keep my opinions to myself even when ASKED!? I mean what do I have to do in order to keep everyone else around me happy while maintaining my sanity? I don't want to deal with their lives and dramas anymore if everytime I give an advice I'm faced with a fight. Why should I fight you? It's your life! It isn't mine! Why should I care right? Why why why why why? I can't possibly ask enough whys but what is the answer? WHY DO I CARE?
BECAUSE I AM STUPID AND I JUST CARE.... arghhhhh. I'm so tired. I'm drained. I'm sick and tired of dreaming about other ppl's lives when all I want is to have a nice quiet night, and maybe dream of an interesting thing or two (and relevant to my own life) without waking up stressed due to other ppl's drama. Why do I allow myself to get so caught up in things, why do I always end up taking things into my own hands? I really rather not deal with them. I'm too emotionally tired right now to deal with additional issues... I have school projects to worry about. I have my ankle to take care of. I have my own future to plan... I have my own lack of love life to fill... I mean isn't that enough. That should keep me busy for a while w/o other ppl's SH*T!!!!
Arghhhh I shouldn't even feel this angry. It's just a waste of my energy. So onto something else...
Tango was great. We totally went overtime (supposed to end at 9 but didn't get out until 10) and the footwork's getting a bit more complicated. I love it, despite my swollen right foot. I'll continue to dance until the day I can't walk. I'm really passionate about dancing; I enjoy putting all my focus onto the body movement, and into the MOMENT. It's a great stress reliever and when I dance, my mind's not cluttered with junk or silly thoughts. It's all about the dance, and the language of dance. It's probably the only time I can externalize my emotion w/o consciously thinking about it. So what's a swollen right foot and weak ankle when the pros outweighs the cons. :)
Okay. see I feel better already, just the thought of dancing. hehe. hopefully I'll have better dreams tonight.