so sleepy.
I still have to shower, nap (I know it sounds ridiculous but I feel exhausted for some odd reason), then drive back to LA. Forget the AIA convention, I know I'm stupid for missing it but my energy level is lower than normal. I will however still attend the AIA Student exhibit, I'm curious to see what's considered excellent work so I know how to improve myself and know which direction to go into. And also James' company has received an award for excellence as well, which makes me want to work for them even more-- IF they would consider me that is. Based on my current project I doubt I'm up to their level, not to mention they are an Architectural Firm, not an Interior Design company :(

Anyway I know artistically ppl might value one aspect over another since it's subjective, but from a technical stand point I need to see how things are done. And perhaps it's time I start using autoCAD again before I forget. Everything takes practice and by avoiding something isn't going to help. I was pretty good at autoCAD to begin with however that mental block, the idea of relying on computer still makes me reluctant to use CAD program as a tool when it comes to design. It would be so much easier though, to make changes and modification. Not to mention James did say that in Asia they value computer drawings where as in the US hand renderings are valued highly. I guess I just need to get over IT and start using IT. F'ing ICS, the only thing I ever failed has scarred me for life. It ruined my beautiful record with a big fat F and made me doubt myself for a while... I think it's time I get over that (-_-), or perhaps it's time I stop caring about grades. HA! Never. So F ICS for the last time!

K. Scholarship. I'm pretty excited about the scholarship. It's for such an insignificant amount (I guess compare to other scholarship but YAY!!!) but any little thing counts. It's the idea behind the scholarship that's making me really happy. First of all I can't believe they said my writing was beautiful (HAHAHAHA NO WAY), second of all I've never applied for anything in my life and won. I can't say I won b/c it wasn't by chance, I earned it. I think I just want to make myself proud and mainly to make my dad happy. So this way I can say I've tried to save him some money while I avoid the harsh reality of life and hide behind the student title. And when it comes down to it I wanted some form of validation, that I wasn't just screwing around in school and that I do take everything I participate in very seriously. Whether it be school, work, or just hanging out with friends... alright sometimes my mind do wonder and I'm not "there" but yeah... I try my best.

Oh another thing. I think I liked my 'afterhr' more than expected. It's cool to see the transformation in myself... from a robot to a person, pretty interesting. i'm glad I listened to mom and kept writing. maybe I'm a lot more like her than I know, and not just physically but in every way, except dad disagrees. Ha, he disagrees b/c he wishes someone's more like him. I say both... should give him a call tonight n bug him for the hell of it. I haven't bugged him for a while... hahahaha oh and I wonder if he will make comments about my trip to NY. Hopefully the scholarship info will distract him from commenting on my traveling plan.

1. how did I get a bruise there???
2. I'm starting to enjoy work, even though I only have two work days left... I should get their contact information and stay in touch. The interns are all pretty cool and funny too.
3. I closed my eyes for 10 sec before I started typing "3"... gosh I must be tired
4. I won the scholarship!! Even though it's only for small amount but the good news is :
a) my writing isn't too bad afterall
b) I can't think I keep falling asleep..

forget it.
deal with this tomorrow