heh, dunno what happened to the entry I wrote today. I was talking about spotty the cat... I guess my whole point was that I think there's a war between the cats and dogs... I hear them almost every night barking and meowing at each other, today I even heard a cat meowing REALLY DAMN loud right outside my window as I was painting my color swatches (tedious work, hate it).

anyway, I'm super tired, I feel like this week has gone by way quickly... running around from place to place, not bored at any given second yet not overtly stressed either, just the perfect amount of activities to keep me busy and keep me happy. Not to mention ILL and I booked our trip to Hawaii!!! Speaking of which I need to write her check, mental note!

and tomorrow we are going down to SD, haven't been down there for awhile now, should be fun. If anything I expect to eat good (and affordable) food, maybe walk around the beach and shop, no more no less.

I realize I may sound incoherent right now however I don't give a F. I'm too sleepy but I need to air dry my hair for a bit, plus cousin is bitching about stuff over the msn... seriously sometimes I just wanna say to ppl -- don't bitch b/c u did it knowingly. It kind of irritates me when ppl bitch about something when they should have known the consequences... it is one thing if they did it and HAD NO IDEA that it was gonna turn out that way, but to do something knowing pretty damn well how things are gonna work or not work, well then don't act surprised at the end.

Anyway, so when I thought that stopping all contact would be best, I ended up having dreams with him in it EVERY NIGHT. To a point that I don't even care to write in my dream journal anymore b/c 1) I can't remember all the details and 2) he's in every single one of them EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And during the day he sneaks into my subconscious, then I start thinking about it consciously. I mean what is this bull shit? Is this what it is all about? dealing with the break up? I suppose this is my way of dealing with it, I dream of it, and I think of it... it's pretty annoying. The thing is I tend to have awesome conversations with him in my deams, like we are completely normal and cool with each other, with no akward feeling nothing weird, but just like good old friends, really good buddies. Maybe that's what I want deep down and that's why it appears like that in dreams. Oh whatever, I'm gonna sleep, can't be late tomorrow. Must be at ILL's by 9:30..