Heh, I love it when I accidently discover something, something that gives me the insight into a person or thing. I never purposely go beyond the boundary and dig into other people's personal life since I'm a big fan of privacy, however I can't help it but smile when I just accidently tap into something that lies beneath the surface. Love it love it.

anyway so halloween is really just an excuse for ladies to dress up like sluts and for guys like me, or I mean girls like me to dress up like a guy so she can have some fun with the ladies (didn't get a chance to mingle with the sluts). I mean anywhere you go on Halloween one can expect to find himself herself among sexy females: police women, wannabe britneys, maids, angels, devilish looking things, victoria secret catalog inpersonader... and what do they all have in common? They wear next to nothing! And they are damn proud of it! Even though it is freezing outside but guess what? IT"S OKAY B/C they have fishnet stockings to keep them warm!! I mean honestly it's all in the name of fun and I'm all for it! I love and love and LOVE watching this many beautiful women flaunting their sexuality around out in the open, no taboo no restriction nothing! It's like being in Amsterdam except people there do cover up but they have legalized drugs to make up for the lack of nakedness, and don't forget they got the red light district! Something that we should have. But I suppose we do have that, nationwide once a year and it's called HALLOWEEN!!

but okay really I sometimes wonder if I would ever have the guts to wear what those girls wore... I think there's a little slut in every girl but I think there's more of a guy in me. I guess to me I take more pleasure in playing the opposite role than to enhance the attractiveness of a woman. Did I enjoy it too much though one might ask, and I think the answer is yes. I enjoy knowing that I may be as great of a guy as I am a girl and since that has always been a thing with me, to compete with men and to be better if not as good as a man professionally, I've felt that by playing a boy and staying in character has helped me fulfilled that part of my... I guess ego. I think its really just a personal competitive thing... it's my competitive edge... and it has to do with how much I want to prove to my family, especially to my dad as a first born and also as a girl that I'm really, doing as well as a guy should at my age if not better. But I guess being a girl has its own advantage and that's something I would never give up! :)

I guess I'll continue to play the part that I'm born to play, but sometimes it's okay to switch and play a different role, a role amuses the boys and confuses the girls. :)