sux to have a laptop of my own but not being able to use it b/c there's always something wrong with the wireless connection. I almost want to get my uncle to hook up the LAN line for upstairs again but that's so much work... so now I have to sit around and wait for a computer to be available in the house... it's stupid, it's annoying, but what else can I do about it? I wonder what exactly is wrong with my laptop??? sometimes it works perfectly and other times... or most of the times it simply doesn't work!
and now I had all these things that I wanted to write about but can't seem to recall them... it was significant at the time I suppose. Is that how most things are, only significant at the time for that brief moment?
"it's not always rainbows and butterflies its compromise that moves us along" ; but if one must always compromise then what is the point of being in a relationship? If one is constantly not happy and another is constantly trying to cheer the other person up then what is the point of being together? Just a thought... maybe that's why I'm happy with my life now, b/c I haven't learned what it means to be with someone and what it means to sacrafice a little for the bigger picture.
Perhaps that's b/c I don't see the bigger picture.
And I'm incredibly happy n excited now that I got my drafting table, it looks great so far as it lays on my floor, I still need to assemble it. Did I ever mention how much I love assembling things? not so much to take them apart but putting them together, it's a great feeling when you are done. You see pieces come together to make a whole, something solid and unified and functional, the beauty of creating things that work, the fun of putting things together... I guess that's why I'm drawn to this whole idea of interior architecture-- to recreate an environment and make it more aesthetically pleasing and functional at the same time. I think my goal would be to help out low to mid-income families with their home projects in the future, to create a peaceful and comfortable environment on a low budget. Who ever said design is only a luxury for the rich? It should be for everyone and anyone who can appreciate life and appreciate beauty in the things we take for granted on a daily basis. Fuck those snobby rich folks who only want it for the sake of having it, I want to work with people who would appreciate the change and the improvement made in life. I want to help people out, and really make a difference instead of coming in to simply embellish a place that's already too grant too good and too rich in everything else. I want to put my effort into things that matter and things that would make a difference for someone out there... I can't possibly take on the whole world but I'll do what I can within my power. I just want to be happy, and if people around me are happy then I think I would be happy too.
Oh talked to Grandpa last weekend when I got back... I know his health condition isn't going to get any better but he did sound better... I think he got over that cold he had back in September. I worry about him, but I also take comfort in knowing that he will always be here in some way or form. He said his fortune teller told him if he does good deeds he'll live to 86-- I believe him. In fact I think he'll live on forever no matter what happens, I think he'll ascend and become a higher being among others who've done something right, who've reached some sort of enlightment in life. Not to mention he's quite humorous too... I can't see any other place for him but heaven/nirvana/oasis... but for now he'll still live happily among us until he's ready to leave. He's not ready yet, I can tell, he's still enjoying his life very much and I am happy for him. WE all love him, even if we don't ever say it b/c we are retarded like that. But we do, and we show it through action.
action will always speak louder than words, I don't care what others say but words are shit, they come out too easily and people also take them back too easily. Nothing means more than the combination of action/words... words along won't get one places, so shut up and do something. That's what I tell myself :)
hmmmm I MISS my BELLIE. But I know my BELLIE is having fun so it's ALL GOOD. :D
time to put my table together, can't wait!