moving forward I like to take some time off to do a self-examination before I become anything else that I am not ready to be. I like to see what are some of the changes I've made and why. Or what are some of the things I held onto and why. It's always easier to dissect others and analyze what's right or wrong but it is almost impossible to give yourself a honest, decent, constructive criticism.

So first of all, I went from liking yellow to wearing all black to now I'm trying to adopt colors and wear different styles of clothing. I want to be "fashionably sensitive but too cool to care". Whatever. My dream was to live with my cousin Grace if we both grow old lonely and we will each have a puppy, now Grace and I both love cats and she just recently adopted a kitten named Curby (I think). Swimming was my favorite sport and I was fast and furious, now I feel like I will drown if I am under the water for more than 5 seconds; I rather tan in my tiny bikini and pretend I just got back from a vacation. I thought having an ass was ugly and now I am glad I have somewhat of an ass since I have no boobs. What else... oh I used to be extremely shy and conservative, had low self-confidence and now I am more extroverted, cocky, and I dispise narrow minded old fashioned chauvinistic people. I used to have extremely bad temper but now I only have very short temper when I am pmsing. I used to care a lot about what others think but now I learned that not all opinion matters and only I can make myself happy. I used to play the piano, the flute, tennis, and now I am useless.

I've become more open minded by also very cynical. I've become more aware of the world but I care less. I've become less idealistic and become more realistic. I've become more feminine but I feel superior than most guys. I've learned to follow my heart and use less of my head, and I've learned to appreciate all things even if they are mistakes. I've learned to play the games that corporate play but I am choosing to walk away from it. And I've realized I'm still not perfect.

All in all. I guess I can change for the better, if i haven't already. yea whatevers, I'm a bitch.